National Enquirer

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VIN DIESEL: THE FAST & THE FLABULOUS!

RAGE MACHINE DEPP SPORTS MANGLED HAND! • Fears for ‘Scissorhands’ star on downward spiral

THE DREARY DUCHESS! • Paranoid & friendless, Meghan longs for the good old days

KANYE CANCELED? • Tone-deaf stunt has ’em screaming for his head!

STEFANI SOUR ON GAVIN’S NEW GWEN!

NEWTON-JOHN IS HOPELESSLY DEVOTED – TO HERSELF!

CRUISE’S DEEP EST SECRETS AT RIS K IN NIGHTMARE THEFT!

BRUCE PUSHES DEMI INTO TRAVOLTA’S ARMS!

‘RHONY’ AGONY!

‘GMA’ WAR ERUPTS!

SEX PEST LAUER RUBS EX’S NOSE IN IT

Hot Shots! • Hollywood through the ENQUIRER lens

PINK BLUE OVER LOSING HER DAD

WILL’S WAKE-UP CALL! • Fears for Petersen after ‘CSI’ star’s crash

ABBA DABBA DO!

DANCE HIT TRANSITIONS TO GENDER-NEUTRAL!

DING-DONG! • Elton’s gift is a massive marble penis!

TWISTED TEEN SCORCHED WITH ARSON KILL CHARGE

NOT STABLE! • Charged with keeping stolen horse in bedroom

Hollywood Heartbreak SAD LAST DAYS OF BELOVED STARS

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUPS!

LITTLE PEOPLE, BIG DAY: MARRIED!

SANDLER’S POP-IN-LAW POPPED FOR LOADED GUN

SHARON STONE ROCKED BY NEW TRAGEDY

BIDDING BEGINS ON MJ’S BEAT-UP BOXERS

BEN GIVES A-ROD A PIZZA HIS MIND!

CROSSWORD

ED ASNER RESENTED QUEEN MARY

EXES QUARREL OVER KOURTNEY!

FAUCI FLUNKS OVID LIE DETECTOR TEST!

BIDEN’S BITE-Y DOG IS A MAJOR PROBLEM!

COLORCROSS #38

Health watch

HUBBY IMMUNE TO RIMES BABY FEVER

R. KELLY TRIAL BOMBSHELL! • Claims he assaulted teenage boy

Attack by 2 bears was just the beginning of my HIKE FROM HILL!

RFK ASSASSIN’S NEW DREAM LIFE • Sirhan hopes to hunker down in suburbia if parole holds up

ETHAN WAS SICK OF ROBIN SCHTICK!

TREBEK WANNABE GETS THE GONG!

EMMY AWARDS PREVIEW

MOVIE LINKS

your HOROSCOPE • WHERE TO FIND MARIA Follow our astrologer, French Quarter Medium Maria Shaw, on Facebook. Visit mariashaw.com to sign up for her free newsletter, order your Lucky Money/Law of Abundance pouch, get your personal reading and more.

SPOT THE DIFFERENCES • How good is your power of observation? See if you can find the 8 differences between these photos of Zooey Deschanel, Carmen Electra and Mark Harris on “Celebrity Dating Game.” You’ll need a keen eye and a sharp attention to detail.

THIS COP ROCKS! • Everyone wants a photo with Dwayne Johnson clone

BRANCHING OUT • ‘Tree’ house sells for $899K!