Finding the Good Husband...in the Man You Married
February 27, 2006
Longtime couples therapist Alter stops short of promising women who ask their husbands to read his guide that "he'll read it, and like it, and get it, and change, and then things'll get a lot better in your marriage," knowing from his 22 years as a counselor that his intended audience-boneheaded husbands-won't change if they don't want to, but those who do could do much worse than to take Alter's advice. Alter holds husbands accountable for many problems that plague marriages and relates to his male clients in a tough manner that sometimes angers them. The most useful guidance is a suggested "Move" at the end of each chapter, an overture husbands can make to improve at everything from listening to their wives, appreciating their wives' anger and understanding their own sexuality (read: "Please touch it."). Though some "Moves" are less helpful than others (he simply recommends husbands with addictions to alcohol, drugs, or pornography "break all your consuming relationships with substances and behaviors"), most are small, yet meaningful, and worth giving a shot before looking for a divorce attorney.