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BENNIFER WINS BOOBY PRIZE! • Love junkie J.Lo gets support from fake nipple bra
KIM ROLLS SNAKE EYES! • Bad plastic procedure leaves perfectionist with uneven peepers
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ROYALS TUNE OUT HARRY & MEGHAN! • Spurn peace feelers over Kate, Camilla & king’s health woes
BAYWATCH BABE IS DROWNING IN CANCER DEBT
NEWS FLASHES!
KELLY’S DIABETES DISASTER!
MONSTER MASHER SPACEY’S CASH GRAB!
TOM TANTRUMS OVER PINK SLIP! • End of Blue Bloods could bleed him dry
AMY & T.J. AIM TO MILK THEIR MISERY FOR REALITY TV!
PALTROW’S MARRIAGE HEADED FOR THE ROCKS • Goop goofball is struggling to blend families
DATING APP DISSES TERI!
CHRIS TAKES A PRATFALL! • H’wood hates musclebound motormouth
50 SHADES OF FAKE! • Nepo baby Dakota’s true colors emerge
CONNICK LAYS DAD’S LEGAL SINS TO REST
STANDUP GUY ZACH HELPS BASKET CASES!
TERESA IS TOAST!
ALEC’S EGO SINKS SALE
TOMCAT BRADY PIGGING OUT!
CAREFUL — IT STAINS • Woman in white Sofía Vergara bites cautiously into a slice at a New York pizza joint
MRS. KIMMEL RULES ROOST
LEMON JUICED FOR POLITICS!
GERRY & THERESA’S GOLDEN PRENUP
DEMENTIA’S STEALING LENO’S WIFE • Jay leaving the spotlight to care for his beloved Mavis
ALZHEIMER’S IS CONTAGIOUS! • Blood transfusions & tainted equipment spread the disease
WEDDING BELLS & A BABY FOR BRAD AND INES! • Ex-wife Angie’s spitting bullets
TIMOTHÉE IN TERROR OF TRAVIS!
SEX SLAVER MAXWELL’S INK-CREDIBLE LIES! • Her autobio gives pedophile Epstein and powerful pals kid glove treatment
JULIA DREADS BRO’S BOOK! • Eric’s tell-all spills lifelong secrets, threatens marriage
BRITNEY’S SEDUCING TIMBERLAKE AGAIN! • Making moves that have hunk’s wife seeing red
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WWE SLEAZEBALL ON THE ROPES! • McMahon slinks away as gruesome, graphic sex scandal explodes
TERRIFIED CAIT HAUNTED BY DEATH THREATS • Can’t find any comfort with LGBT friends
SARA’S SCARY JOB WHIPLASH!
DUMB LUCK! • Millionaire Milano’s GoFundMe page scores $11G to send son on baseball trip
Dumb & dumber! • Stupidest things clueless stars have ever said
CROSSWORD #8
MIRACLE DEAFNESS CURE BREAKS SOUND BARRIER!
EPILEPSY DRUG CUSHIONS JOINTS!
HOLLYWOOD HOOKUPS!
DOLLY RESCUES ELLE FROM HELL! • Rushes to aid of demon-battling country screw-up
MACKENZIE LETS PAPA OFF HOOK FOR INCEST!
NASCAR KING’S SOFT DRINK BIZ FIZZLES! • Now hard liquor is fueling Busch!
KANYE TIGHTENS NOOSE ON BIANCA!
YOUR HOROSCOPE • WHERE TO FIND MARIA Follow our astrologer, French Quarter Medium Maria Shaw, on Facebook. Visit mariashaw.com to sign up for her free newsletter, order your Lucky Money/Law of Abundance pouch, get your personal reading and more.
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CHRISTIE WRINKLY! • Supermodel doesn’t walk the talk on aging
SAVANNAH TURNS BOTOX ZOMBIE!
RED Carpet • THIS WEEK IN FASHION
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TAYLOR GETS A SWIFT KICK! • Conspiracy theory suggests pop star will rig 2024 vote
TOURIST FINDS $28K SOUVENIR! • Stumbles across giant diamond in muddy park